#to

So what if those stupid roosters don't want to crow? If we've learned to live without men, we can learn to live without cocks. ↗

— James Cañón

#humor #james-cañón #magic-realism #mariquita #tales-from-the-town-of-widows

A short distance away is the Tidal Basin, ringed by cherry trees that every year produce flowers, an event to which Washingtonians react as though it were the Second Coming of Christ. ↗

— Dave Barry

#washington-dc #humor

Wow. Who would want a fish for a pet when they could have a turtle?! ↗

— Christopher Paul Curtis

#true-to-life #humor

But what would they have said to their Liaison? It’s like this, Meg. We didn’t like that Asia Crane, so we ate her. When dealing with humans, honesty isn’t always the best policy, Vlad thought ↗

— Anne Bishop

#humor #predator #prey #vampires #humor

The guards had asked the Doctor to please wait in the hallway until Mr McCavity had time to see him. So it seemed only polite, the Doctor thought, to wait until they had gone before he wandered off to explore the house. ↗

— Justin Richards

#humor #the-doctor #humor

Well, I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger," mewed Graypaw, breaking off from his carful stalking to stagger comically across the clearing. "I think I'll have to settle for hunting stupid mice. They won't stand a chance. I shall just wander up to them and sit on them till they surrender. ↗

— Erin Hunter

#graypaw #humor #into-the-wild #humor

Could you do such things when you were a dancer?' Tara asks her, as Tsukiko pulls a leg up impossibly far over her head. 'I would have had a much busier social calendar if I could,' Mme. Padva replies with a shake of her head. ↗

— Erin Morgenstern

#humor #night-circus #humor

Now, this one might be a little stringy, but then again, it's fiddle player." That isn't fiddle player, it's piccolo player." How can you tell?" It's PIPING hot!" Then blow on it first! ↗

— Stephen Sondheim

#sweeney #todd #humor

This,’ whispered the Doctor to Romana, ‘is going to be like trying to find a book about needles in a room full of books about haystacks. ↗

— Gareth Roberts

#douglas-adams #humor #humor

Sometimes I had difficulty remembering that "all you can eat" is not a personal challenge. ↗

— Marika Christian

#gluttony #humor #humor