#tod

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner. ↗

— Jay Leno

#announced #back #divorce #getting #hope

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? ↗

— Jay Leno

#important #me #paper #plastic #something

Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bill clinton #bush #clinton #course #day

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. ↗

— Jay Leno

#attack #bush #bush administration #iraq #lining

If you are a young writer today, it's very hard. ↗

— Doris Lessing

#today #very #writer #you #young

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral. ↗

— David Letterman

#big #confusing #dead #debate #funeral

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population. ↗

— David Letterman

#come #every #four #make #make up

Universities are the custodians not only of the many cultures of man, but of the rational process itself. ↗

— Edward Levi

#custodians #itself #man #many #only

Social Security is something that we need to deal with, because people who are working today, who will retire in the future, people who are retired today, they have a right - and it's part of the compact that they can depend on their benefits. We should fix the long-term funding problem of Social Security because that's the right thing to do. ↗

— Jacob Lew

#benefits #compact #deal #depend #fix

A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't people have an affection for me and what I've done? Didn't I have to be genuine for them to buy into what I did? There are children who grow up today who will not have that when they're 55 years old. With whom will they have it? Name an example for me. ↗

— Jerry Lewis

#been #buy #children #did #done