#um

I liked you, cop. From the moment I met you. No… not the first moment. I wanted to kill you when I first met you. But then I liked you. A lot. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

Forgive me if I stare, I knew you were young, but even then I was expecting someone a little more, well, more. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor #forgiveness

Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #humor

Number of empty Ben & Jerry's containers: 3 -- two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry's, anyway? Is there a greater waste?) ↗

— Ally Carter

#ice-cream #taste #variety #humor

Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully. "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever." "And he has Brain." "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain." There was a long silence. "I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#cleverness #humor #piglet #understanding #winnie-the-pooh

I should never be left alone with my mind for too long. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humor #insanity #humor

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #the-new-yorker #humor

Are you sleepwalking?' A voice asked behind me. "I was testing dorm security," I said. "It sucks. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

I wasn't fooled. He was avoiding looking at me. "There's nothing to talk about." "I knew you'd say that. Actually, it was a toss-up between that and 'I don't know what you're talking about.'" Dimitri sighed. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #humor

I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything. ↗

— Geoff Johns

#humor