#um

Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right? ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#zombies #humor

I will take a serious approach to a subject usually treated lightly, which is a nerdy thing to do. ↗

— Benjamin Nugent

#geek #humor #nerd #non-fiction #humor

Once you've been squashed by a giant, a troll doesn't even seem nearly as heavy. ↗

— Christopher Healy

#humor

He frowned as he struggled to remember. It was like watching an elephant crochet. ↗

— Val McDermid

#humor

I think that the only real way to tell if a boy like likes you is to be direct. None of this game-playing, that's juvenile. Instead, even though it might be scary, the thing to do is to just march up and ask one of your friends to ask someone else to ask one of his friends what he thinks about you. ↗

— Lisa Yee

#humor

She didn't have any intention of crying. The tears caught her by surprise. She knew she was behaving like a child, that she was being terribly foolish and emotional, but she didn't know how to stop herself. "Judith?" His thumb brushed away one of the tears on her cheek. "Tell me why you're crying." "There weren't any flowers. Iain, there should have been flowers." Her voice had been so soft, he wasn't certain he understood her. "Flowers?" he asked. "Where weren't there any flowers?" He waited for her to explain, but she stubbornly remained silent. He squeezed her. "In the chapel." "What chapel?" "The one you don't have," she answered. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor

Looks like Faye's doing a little extracurricular activity," a voice behind her murmured, and Cassie turned gratefully. Nick nodded at the guy who was occupying the seat there, and the guy scrambled up and left. Cassie hardly noticed the occurrence, it was so common. The kids from Crowhaven Road indicated what they wanted, and the outsiders gave it to them. Always. It was the way things worked. Nick sat in the vacated chair and took out a pack of cigarettes. He opened it, shook one forward. Then he noticed Cassie. Cassie was staring at him with her eyebrows lifted, her best Diana expression on. Disapproval radiating from her like heat waves. "Ah," Nick said. He glanced at the cigarettes, then at her again. He tapped the protruding cigarette back into place and tucked the pack in his pocket. "Bad habit," he said. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#habits #humor #humor

We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely? ↗

— David Wong

#humor

And how is Jamie doing?" "Fine. He seems to be spending a lot of time in the shower," I noted quietly, my voice so low that even Jamie's super hearing couldn't pick it up. Dick chuckled, followed by Zeb and Gabriel. "What?" "Remember that summer I turned thirteen and my mom complained that she couldn't ever get me out of the bathroom?" Zeb asked. "Yeah, but that's because you were-" I slapped my hand over my mouth. "Oh!" "Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting," Zeb said. ""It's one big, horrifying miracle." "Augh!" I grumbled. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #humor

Burn, baby, burn,” she muttered in a hard, satisfied voice. I cleared my throat. “As much as I hate to interrupt the supreme satisfaction you’re taking in watching the mansion blaze to the ground, I’d really like to get out of here before the whole house collapses on top of us. ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#fire #gin-blanco #humor #humor