#un

Taking a deep breath that smelled of rain, she was poised to move when a hand clasped her elbow. Memories of another hand grabbing her sent panic shooting through her veins. She swung around. "Whoa. You okay?" Lucas lightened his clasp around her arm. Kylie caught her breath and stared up at the werewolf's blue eyes. "Yeah. You just...surprised me. You need to whistle when you come up on me. ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humor #kylie #lucas #paranormal #taken-at-dusk

I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands." Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations." But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #humor #lemony #slippery-slope #snicket

Nick spoke for the first time. "Can I go to the nurse's office too?" Ms. Popplewell looked at him It obviously took her only one look to decide. "No." "I'm traumatized too," Nick claimed, his voice completely flat. "He's a delicate flower," Alan said under his breath. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#young-adult #humor

He was a gentle and sensitive soul, and therefore had a short temper, which is why he went straight after everything with an ax... ↗

— Bohumil Hrabal

#humor #love #lovers #sensitive #soul

Well. I think it's safe to say that, in my absence, the power grabbing and backstabbing and political intrigue has officially reached an all-time Otherworld high. ↗

— Lesley Livingston

#humor #unseelie #wondrous-strange #humor

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians--except for the occasional mountain lion steak. ↗

— Ted Nugent

#humor #hunting #meat #vegetarians #humor

Please, please be some sex-starved nutcase who wants to kidnap me and make me your love slave, I begged silently. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#fun #humor

It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet. ↗

— George W. Bush

#bushism #children #dungeon #humor #internet

...first thing is that I love you. And the second thing is that as much as I honor your former profession, I don’t think your geese care much for your betrothed and I hope they hadn’t any plans on sharing our bed. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #romance #young-adult #humor

I don’t believe it! You’re still interested in the girl, despite the fact that she might be some kind of alien. Does this sickness of yours have any bounds? ↗

— Tom Upton

#young-adult #humor