#use

A brick could be used to represent society as a whole. But to represent society as a half, I’d recommend using either a full carton of half and half, or a half-full carton of whole milk.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I'm what is known as perimenopausal. "Peri", some of you may know, is a Latin prefix meaning 'SHUT YOUR FLIPPIN' PIE HOLE". ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#menopause #humor

I'm a Waitress. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#sookie-stackhouse #humor

She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humorous #wodehouse #humor

Anyone can have an off decade. ↗

— Larry Cole

#humor #losers #self-effacement #humor

You can't just fly into the Great Coat, shoot your way into Bluewater, and take Kai and his father,' I told him. 'Why not?' 'Cause you can't. They'll killl you, for one thing.' Ulysses scratched his beard. 'Hmm. Need a better plan. ↗

— Cameron Stracher

#use-ur-head #humor

You know before you know, of course. You are bending over the dryer, pulling out the still-warm sheets, and the knowledge walks up your backbone. You stare at the man you love and you are staring at nothing; he is gone before he is gone. ↗

— Elizabeth Berg

#love

If love breaks more than a heart, maybe it's a sign and time to step out. ↗

— Anthony Liccione

#broken-heart #hitting #physical-abuse #relationship-problems #signs

Why not? It's natural selection. Just like nature." I wrinkled my nose. "Boudas love this argument, because it gives them an excuse to do all the wrong things. 'I'm sorry I screwed your sister and got my penis stuck in your German shepherd. It's in my nature. I just couldn't help myself. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#excuses #nature #love

Was I just curious about what the agenda might be at a vampire summit? Did I want the attention of more undead members of society? Did I want to be known as a fangbanger, one of those humans who simply adored the walking dead? Did some corner of me long for a chance to be near Bill without seeking him out, still trying to make some emotional sense of his betrayal? Or was this about Eric? Unbeknownst to myself, was I in love with the flamboyant Viking who was so handsome, so good at making love, and so political, all atthe same time? This sounded like a promising set of problems for a soap opera season. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#bill-compton #eric-northman #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #love