#vampire

That's very rude," Myrnin said. "I haven't brought my fangs our for some time. Not in mixed company, anyway. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville #myrnin #vampires #humor

Big lots,' I said, seeing the eighty-year-old oaks and shady lawns. The houses were set way back and had iron fences and stone drives. The harder to hear your neighbors scream, my dear,' was David’s answer, and I sent my head up and down in agreement. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #rachel-morgan #romance #supernatural #vampire

Cole - I just thought of a new game. Jaz - What's that? Cole - Splat the Specter. Jaz - Rules? Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia. Vayl - Why Ferrets? Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD? ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#humor #jaz-parks #vampire #humor

Louis-Cesare slowly pulled himself into a half-standing position against the side of the winery.'What? Did you think one little mage was going to do me in?' He swallowed hard. 'Hell, that was just a warm-up. ↗

— Karen Chance

#damphir #dorina #fiction #humor #mage

He gives me the hairy eyeball, and asks me to help him find his pancreas. ↗

— A. Lee Martinez

#humor #vampire #humor

Carlos: So, what, were they psychos, or... Seth: Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are! ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#vampires #humor

As the Brotherhood got down to business, he found himself putting his hand on the dog’s big head and stroking the soft fur…playing with an ear…dipping down and finding the long waves that flowed from the animal’s broad, strong chest. Not that any of that meant he was keeping the the animal, of course. It just felt nice, was all. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#paranormal #romance #vampire #wrath #business

I have kept thee long in waiting, dear Romuald, and thou mayst well have thought that I had forgotten thee. But I have come from a long distance and from a place from which no one has ever before returned; there is neither moon nor sun in the country from which I come; there is naught but space and shadow; neither road nor path; no ground for the foot, no air for the wing; and yet here I am, for love is stronger than death, and it will end by vanquishing it. Ah! what gloomy faces and what terrible things I have seen in my journeying! What a world of trouble my soul, returned to this earth by the power of my will, has had in finding its body and reinstating itself therein! What mighty efforts I had to put forth before I could raise the stone with which they had covered me! See! the palms of my poor hands are all blistered from it. Kiss them to make them well, dear love! ↗

— Théophile Gautier

#death #love #vampire #death

Death stalked toward us on padded feet.        And it was not alone. ↗

— Melika Dannese Lux

#death #hybrid-vampires #leonora-bianchetti #showdown #vladec-salei

What you feel for me, is it caused by your vampirism, or do you yourself feel that way? Because, I mean, I guess I AM, technically, like a walking hamburger. Who wouldn't want a free meal?" I asked tentatively. ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#vampire #humor