#vin

I'm done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#living #moving-on #regrets #funny

I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#debate #dialogue #funny #humor #judgement

Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#funny-but-true #funny

And it's funny how when somebody saves you, the first thing you want to do is save other people. All other people. Everybody. The kid never knew the man's name. But he never forgot that smile. "Hero" isn't the first word, but it's the first word that comes to mind. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#save #saved #saving #funny

There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#books #boyfriend #choices #faith #family

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #money #odd

Yeah,” said Harry. “No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly . . .” “And from now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die — I’m just chucking them in the bin where they belong. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny #harry-potter #o-w-l-s #ron-weasley #funny

Being alive means living fully extended. Like Orafoura’s cousin, who is 2.5 inches tall, but has a five-inch penis. You can’t say that’s average, because how many people do you know whose penis is twice as long as they are? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cousin #funny #living #orafoura #penis

No guest rooms.” I shake my head resolutely. “I want to be in a room room. A lived-in room. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#living #funny

Government is operated by deeply embedded, hopelessly entangled bureaus where nothing is accomplished because the function of the bureau is to intercept every living idea and smother it. ↗

— Gerry Spence

#because #bureau #bureaus #deeply #embedded