#w

See, what you're talking about is why hanging out with ME would be fun for YOU. It doesn't explain anything about why it'd be fun for ME. You don't bring banter. You aren't witty. You aren't funny. There is nothing to pick from your brain. You're looking for me to entertain you. A relationship is an exchange, not a one-way street. Look beyond your own personal desires for a second and understand what you bring to the exchange- nothing. ↗

— Tucker Max

#pa #funny

I have a debt, a loyalty to the museum; the best place for me to do what I wanted to do. ↗

— George Gaylord Simpson

#debt #i #loyalty #me #museum

A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If an honest man is the noblest work of God, then Mr. Lincoln's title to high nobility is clear and unquestioned. ↗

— Matthew Simpson

#god #high #honest #honest man #lincoln

The realm of immediate or personal knowledge is a narrow circle in which these bodies move; the realm of knowledge derived through faith is as wide as the universe, and old as eternity. ↗

— Matthew Simpson

#circle #derived #eternity #faith #immediate

With every challenge you face, there is an opportunity hidden that will lead you towards the path of wealth and abundance. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#mind-body-spirit #mind-power #money #motivational #new-age

A brick could be used to block out the pain, if you use it to first inflict pain and carry it through to coma. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

For Russian Jews, Zionism was an immediate solution to age-old problems. “Anywhere is better than Russia,” Karl agreed, “but for Western Jews, Zionism is a trap, I think. Once Jews are permitted a territorial center, it will be too easy to drive the rest of us from every other nation on Earth. ‘Go back where you belong!’ ” he cried dismissively, jerking his thumb toward Palestine. “ ‘Oh, by the way, leave all your possessions behind.’ ” ... But I have no need of some artificial homeland invented by the British. I am not a German Jew, Agnes, but a Jewish German. ↗

— Mary Doria Russell

#age

I've been very clear. I won. I didn't commit the crime. ↗

— O. J. Simpson

#clear #commit #crime #i #very