#w

If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#always #comes #comfort #film #guarantee

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song. Until I heard 'Little Earthquakes' all my lyrics used really obvious analogies like rain for tears. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#earthquakes #had #heard #how #i

If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture. I think it's important to have substance for what you're saying. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#being #comedy #could #done #goal

If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#commitment #community #days #equal #equal rights

If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#anything #chi #go #i #live

It's better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#better #get #money #more #than

Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#chubby #jerry #just #kind #lions

Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#barker #bob #care #dreams #everyone

Other kids would sneak out of the house to go to parties and do untoward things. I was sneaking out to do standup downtown. It paid off. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#go #house #i #kids #off

People only have guilty pleasures when they crowbar pleasure down their throat all the time and then they reach for the brownies. Then you should feel guilty because you're killing your body and that's something to be guilty about. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#because #body #down #feel #guilty