Hide Confessions

I pretend that I’m happy by taking pictures of myself hiding in tons of makeup because I gained lots of weight because I’m an alcoholic. Any addiction or obsession I will latch onto so I don’t have to feel unless it’s pleasure. I avoid, hide and conform from and to others so I don’t have to be in control of any situation. I’m a follower, a fraud and a horrible friend.

I ghost when things become to real for me which in turn ruins many relationships both good and bad. I ghosted my best friend because he called me out on my bs. He says it’s what real friends do and he’s right. I guess I was never a real friend because I vanish when things become too tough for me and I hide behind makeup to attempt to look good like I once was. I’ll drink, get high or sleep with whomever to escape the fraud that I am.

#fraud   #avoidance   #hide   #friendship  

Today, I skipped work because I wanted to go shopping.
I went to a shop and tried some clothes on, when I saw one of my bosses coming really close. He hadn't seen me then so I decided to hide behind a manikin.
At first, it looked like it would work, but then someone tapped me on my shoulder, I twitched, fell down with the dummy on top of me.
Now, I got a dissuasion from work and I have the order to stay away from the shop.

#shopping   #clothes   #boss   #manikin   #hide   #dissuasion