#ah

And I can see Russia from my house. ↗

— Tina Fey

#sarah-palin #humor

Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #i-can-t #jkahsalolololololol #funny

Oh, no-" They weren't even on the runway, and Jonah's father was already immersed in his BlackBerry. "Remember those 'Live Large with the Wiz Generation' posters? Well, guess how that translates into Chinese- 'Jonah Wizard Makes Your Ancestors Fat'. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#joke #jonah-wizard #mistake #translation #humor

For people who like that kind of thing, this is the kind of thing they like. ↗

— Max Beerbohm

#misattributed-abraham-lincoln #humor

That's great. Except for the fact that it's completely unimportant. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #humor

Kahlan ambled toward the door. "Well, my breasts aren't as large as yours Berdine." She slowed as she passed Raina. "I think Raina's hands would fit mine better. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#humor #kahlan #raina #humor

You would think there is a higher bar than having a Facebook page to run for president. ↗

— Bill Maher

#sarah-palin #humor

I wrote about the person I love most, my older brother, Noah. We don't live together so I wrote what I imagine he does when we're not together." "And what is that?" prodded the stout man. "He's a superhero who saves people in danger, because he saved me and my brother from dying in a fire a couple of years ago. Noah is better than Batman." The crowd chuckled. "I love you, too, lil'bro. ↗

— Katie McGarry

#katie-mcgarry #little-brother #noah-hutchins #pushing-the-limits #sweet

Let me be clear. Last I was aware you were neither my husband nor my father nor my King. Therefore, any control you may imagine you hold over me is just that- imaginary ↗

— Sarah MacLean

#humor #sarah-maclean #the-season #wit #humor

She's got no charisma of any kind [but] I can imagine her being mildly useful to a low-rank porn director. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#pornography #sarah-palin #sex-appeal #imagination