#ai

People peep into boxes at moving stereoscopic prints, imagining they're in other worlds, and the crowd around a glassblower wonders whether icicles have formed in summer. Potted trees revive and suddenly look fresh when a florist sprinkles water on them, while papier-mâché turtles hanging out for sale move in the wind and take on souls. ↗

— Haruo Shirane

#hiraga-gennai #imagery #japanese #imagination

The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way. ↗

— James Finn Garner

#funny #humor #little-red-riding-hood #politics #sexist

Bitten? You mean you're a-" "A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #humor #jace-wayland #maia #simon-lewis

I still remember her meandering Mississippi kiss. I sipped it like a riverboat captain in the desert. Ah, to be young and naughtily nautical. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#kiss #mississippi #naughty #nautical #riverboat-captain

I’m nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in another. Instead of railroad tracks converging in the distance, the workers got lazy halfway there and switched from building one side of the track to the other. So when my brother was standing in front of an oncoming train, I told him not to be worried – the tracks are still under construction. I just never expected the train to have hovering technology. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #trains #vision #funny

Grinning is something you do when you're entertained in some way, such as watching one you don't care for spill soda all over themselves. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #grinning #humorous #funny

I never realized I was so notorious. Infamous, disreputable, villainous, yes, but not notorious. ↗

— Bauvard

#evil #funny #humor #infamous #notorious

What you perceive as a failure today may actually be a crucial step towards the success you seek. Never give up. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#drive #failure #perseverance #richelle #richelle-goodrich

People can be so emotionally unintelligent. When I ask them how they’re doing they just make brusque comments like “I’m good, thanks.” After years of trying to get cashiers to talk about their feelings and having to deal with the bottled-up aggression of the customers behind me, I’ve lost all faith in humanity’s ability to connect with each other at the checkout counter. ↗

— Bauvard

#cashiers #funny #humor #faith

Dalai Lama: an oriental pope who sells his followers indulgences that take effect after ten thousand lifetimes. ↗

— Bauvard

#dalai-lama #funny #humor #funny