#alcohol

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic. ↗

— Paul Lynde

#become #celebrity #hadn #i #probably

Mankind: A quality of life upgrade is available to each and every one of you. It should give you a quality of life upgrade, which means no drugs, no alcohol, no fast food - unless, of course, it's a mallard. ↗

— Ted Nugent

#available #course #each #every #fast

People in the business will stay with you through drugs and alcohol and divorces and insanity and everything else, but you have a failure, pal, and they don't want to know nothing about you! ↗

— Don Johnson

#alcohol #business #divorces #else #everything

Gordie, the white boy genius, gave me this book by a Russian dude named Tolstoy, who wrote, 'Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.' Well, I hate to argue with a Russian genius, but Tolstoy didn't know Indians, and he didn't know that all Indian families are unhappy for the same exact reasons: the frikkin' booze. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#american-indians #humor #tolstoy #family

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. ↗

— Carl Jung

#alcohol #bad #every #form #idealism

I don't even drink! I can't stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year's Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don't touch booze - I'm always the designated driver. ↗

— Kim Kardashian

#alcohol #always #booze #designated #designated driver

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. ↗

— Dylan Thomas

#drinks #like #much #someone #who

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic. ↗

— Ron White

#because #drink #i #only #people

My bootlegger used up all the whiskey when he went on that drive, but I drank his gasoline before he left. I really should have checked his tank before chugging that bottle. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #funny

A wife isn’t beaten until drunk.” – Proverb of one who finds that, between his bottle and her nagging, only one can pour forth endlessly. ↗

— Bauvard

#alcoholism #funny #love #funny