#all

You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually. ↗

— John Green

#funny #late #show-up #smart #funny

With the Book hitching rides, hiding on people, guess we’re all going to be dressing like skanks for a while, huh? Skintight or skin. Dude, everybody’s everything’s gonna be hanging out, and some o’ those fat chicks at the abbey are gonna gross my eyeballs right outta my head. Muffin tops and camel toes, gah! ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #funny

Nobody's really unsympathetic, I think. People do good and bad things. If a character's totally unsympathetic, they're not real and I'm not interested. ↗

— Matthew Macfadyen

#character #good #good and bad #i #i think

Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I'm going to ask you to sit still, or I'll put you in the trunk. ↗

— Anna White

#funny #humour #jack #jack-to-samara #samara

You're lips are bloody.' He seized my face in both hands and kissed me. It's hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#eric-northman #kissing #living-dead-in-dallas #sookie-stackhouse #art

His whole life was a sham, a fairy tale. The truth hidden behind a wall of lies, each lie another brick in the wall until he probably couldn't see the truth anymore. ↗

— Shaun Jeffrey

#fairy-tale #lies #sham #truth #wall

She began to curl her hair and long for balls ↗

— Jane Austen

#dirty #funny #funny

It makes my skin crawl to think about the violent ways snakes, lizards, alligators and other exotic creatures are raised and killed for boots, bags and belts. ↗

— Kelly Brook

#alligators #bags #belts #boots #crawl

Brad Green, almost overnight, became the poster boy for the common Wall Street tale - proving once again that greed, most definitely, kills. Giving away about 99% of his fortune was also front page news, but Green barely blinked at having to scrape by with only $200 million. The government seized all five of his homes, his three boats, two jets, a helicopter, 14 cars, and all of his assets except the $200 million he stashed for a rainy day in an offshore bank account. ↗

— Phil Wohl

#redemption #wall-street #home

She had hit rock-bottom. She had given a blow job to a man who for all intents and purposes, was a bum. He had smelled so bad, she forced him to spray on some of the perfume she always carried in her purse. Her favorite perfume. After tonight, she was quitting. Yeah, she’d have to go back home with her two kids, grovel to her mama and work a dead-end job, but anything was better than getting down on your knees to give a guy as disgusting as Lenny a one-off. ↗

— A.T. Hicks

#humor #irony #prostitute #strip-club #home