#football

I make love with the accuracy of Joe Montana, and from a distance of up to 100 yards. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#football #joe-montana #love #sex #change

I've cut my teeth as a coach with some great head coaches and some great co-workers and I have been very lucky to have learned a lot of football from all of the above. ↗

— Mike Tice

#been #co-workers #coach #coaches #cut

Maybe I'm stupid or whatever, but to me if I got a concussion, if I could see straight and I could carry a football then I'm not telling anybody. ↗

— Ricky Williams

#carry #could #football #got #i

America has designated football as the international sport, but the rest of the world continues to apply the metric system inconsistently. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #metric-system #sports #design

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. ↗

— Elbert Hubbard

#education

They've drunk everything in the house, including a pitcher of African violet plant food I'd just mixed up and was stupid enough to leave on the counter." Tremaine punched Eddie in the shoulder. "I told you it tasted weird." Eddie shrugged. "Tasted okay to me. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #matchmaker #food

The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor #ice-fishing #ice-skating #skiing #snow-camping

The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #huddle-house #humor #hungry #funny

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #humor

I lust love to play football. ↗

— Ray Nitschke

#i #love #lust #play #play football