#football

It is remarkable that a fist-gnawingly dire England performance still has the power to shock, when in some ways this one had all the exquisite unpredictability of Norman Wisdom approaching a banana skin in the immediate vicinity of a swimming pool... The England shirt is the precise opposite of a superhero costume, turning men with extraordinary abilities into mild-mannered guys next door. Were Stephen Fry to pull it on, he would struggle to string a sentence together. Were Lucian Freud to slip it over his head he would turn his easel round to reveal a childlike scribble of a cat. ↗

— Marina Hyde

#shirt #superhero #men

We want different things. Men want to have sex with a woman. Then they want to have sex with another woman. And then another. Then they want to eat cornflakes and sleep for a while, and then they want to have sex with another woman, and another, until they die. Women,’ and I thought I’d better pick my words carefully when describing a gender I didn’t belong to, ‘want a relationship. They may not get it, or they may sleep with a lot of men before they do get it, but ultimately that’s what they want. That’s the goal. Men do not have goals. Natural ones. So they invent them, and put them at either end of a football pitch. And then they invent football. Or they pick fights, or try and get rich, or start wars, or come up with any number of daft bloody things to make up for the fact that they have no real goals.’ ‘Bollocks,’ said Ronnie. ‘That, of course, is the other main difference. ↗

— Hugh Laurie

#men #monogamy #sex #women #men

In keeping with the Laws of the Prophet Bubba and the Code of the UIL, as set forth in the Book of First Downs, as the sun sets on Friday nights the rites of the Texas state religion are celebrated: high school, smash-mouth football. ‘And lo, the children of Jim Bob do take to the roads in caravans and they do go up unto the stadium by tribes, the Indians of Groveton, the Panthers of Lufkin, the Mustangs of Overton, and the very Wildcats of Palestine, and who shall withstand the traffic jams thereof?’ Thus is it written, and so it is and shall be. ↗

— Markham Shaw Pyle

#east-texas #football #piney-woods #texas #religion

I was meant to be a composer and will be I'm sure. Don't ask me to try to forget this unpleasant thing and go play football - please. ↗

— Samuel Barber

#composer #football #forget #go #i

And I think they loved me because I loved being part of their team, you know, and I quite often say to kids, that I was the worst player in the world's best football team - and that was good enough for me. ↗

— Craig Johnston

#being #best #enough #football #football team

Now Jack Charlton wasn't wrong, I was a bad footballer. ↗

— Craig Johnston

#charlton #footballer #i #jack #now

OK, the wonderful thing about soccer is, a football is a perfectly round object, and it doesn't make mistakes. The player using it makes mistakes. And the more you use it, the less mistakes you make. ↗

— Craig Johnston

#football #less #make #makes #mistakes

I'm a racehorse fanatic rather than a football fanatic. ↗

— Steve McManaman

#football #i #rather #than

In London there was an article about all these girls bending it like Beckham, and in India there's this big wave of girls playing football. Wow! I can't believe a movie's done this! ↗

— Parminder Nagra

#article #beckham #believe #bending #big

I'm not super social, don't really go to parties, or basketball games, or football games very often, the big social occasions. ↗

— Taylor Phinney

#basketball #big #football #football games #games