#football

I crawled back to bed, knowing I was done for. Hours later, the phone in our room started ringing. It was George. He was not happy. "Room 312. Now!" he shouted. Bouldy got up. I tried to pull myself together, splashing my face with water and hauling on my shorts and flip flops. It was a lovely day outside, the sun was scorching hot and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, but it might as well have been a pissing wet morning in St Albans for all I cared. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach as we made the Walk of Death to Room 312, which I knew was Paul and Gus's room. When we walked in, I thought I'd arrived in downtown Baghdad. Water dripped from the ceiling. The board games were in pieces and all the plastic parts were scattered over the floor. The balcony window was wide open and I could see a bed upended by the pool outside. ↗

— Paul Merson

#humour #prank #trouble #death

Billy tries to imagine the vast systems that support these athletes. They are among the best-cared for creatures in the history of the planet, beneficiaries of the best nutrition, the latest technologies, the finest medical care, they live at the very pinnacle of American innovation and abundance, which inspires an extraordinary thought - send them to fight the war! Send them just as they are this moment, well rested, suited up, psyched for brutal combat, send the entire NFL! Attack with all our bears and raiders, our ferocious redskins, our jets, eagles, falcons, chiefs, patriots, cowboys - how could a bunch of skinny hajjis in man-skits and sandals stand a chance against these all-Americans? Resistance is futile, oh Arab foes. Surrender now and save yourself a world of hurt, for our mighty football players cannot be stopped, they are so huge, so strong, so fearsomely ripped that mere bombs and bullets bounce off their bones of steel. Submit, lest our awesome NFL show you straight to the flaming gates of hell! ↗

— Ben Fountain

#sarcasm #imagination

I learned a long time ago that there is something worse than missing the goal, and that's not pulling the trigger. ↗

— Mia Hamm

#futbol #hamm #mia #mia-hamm #shooting

So my dad raised me, and he's a huge football fan. ↗

— Lisa Guerrero

#fan #football #huge #me #raised

Football is a sad game. ↗

— George Best

#game #sad

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable. ↗

— Tom Landry

#football #game #incredible #sometimes #unbelievable

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. ↗

— Fran Lebowitz

#aspiring #being #excuse #football #good

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. ↗

— John Leonard

#baseball #basketball #cumulative #football #game

Because a football game is just sixty minutes, but I'm training six, seven hours in every day. So, going for sixty minutes becomes easy. More importantly, I think that your muscles mature and can move in all different directions. ↗

— Ray Lewis

#because #becomes #day #different #different directions

Some of the money going to the rookies can now be spent on people who have proved their worth. After all, the average playing life of a pro football player is about eight years and it is only fitting that the veterans get something for their efforts. ↗

— Bob Lilly

#after #average #ball player #efforts #eight