#am

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#business #came #casino #exit #fire

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#hippopotamus #just #really

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#disillusion #go #here #i #i am

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#blackjack #gambling #i #like #play

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#eat #how #hungry #i #i am

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#blackjack #circle #gambling #i #i love

My ambition is to do a good job. I never plan anything. ↗

— Ilie Nastase

#anything #good #good job #i #job

Birds I am fine with - spiders are an entirely different matter. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#birds #different #entirely #fine #i

Veni, vidi, flevi. I came. I saw. I cried. ↗

— Dorian Cirrone

#emily #latin #drama

He was such a fabulous drama coach. What better person to have than Alfred Hitchcock? His work as a director was impeccable. I learned so much. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#alfred hitchcock #better #better person #coach #director