#am

That's my point: if you own thirty or more books, or you are reading any book at this moment, you may protest all you want, but you were born on the wrong continent. ↗

— Thomas Geoghegan

#books #europe #humor #reading #humor

A woman's touch?!' he repeated, 'What is he thinking hermano? Stukeley frowned. ''Captain doesn't know whether it's dinnertime or doomsday, mate. That's the state Lady Losckwood's got him in.We'be tried to talk some sense into him, but it just goes in one ear and out the other. IT's not as if he had much of an attention span to begin with, but since Lady Muck came on to the scene... ↗

— Justin Somper

#stukeley #vamirates #humor

They'll torture you for months before killing you if you run" Otis shrugged, as if this was an everyday occurrence. ↗

— Heather Brewer

#morbid #otis #run #running #vampire

The wish of peeking at women showering is also a kind of romance. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor

This,” Alaric explained to Sarah in what he thought was a kindly voice, “isn’t love you’re feeling. Only dopamine. Because Felix isn’t like anyone else you know. Being a creature of the night, he’s new and exciting and activates a neurotransmitter in your brain that releases feelings of euphoria when you’re around him…especially because you know you can never actually be together, and he seems complicated, and perhaps even sensitive and vulnerable at times. But I can assure you: he’s anything but.” “How dare you?” Sarah demanded hotly. “It isn’t dopa…whatever! It’s love! Love! ↗

— Meg Cabot

#dopamine #humor #love #vampires #humor

What kind of monster are you anyway? You should be more humane, Gennady!" "I was humane when I was alive," said the vampire. ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#vampire-humor #humor

Men are very sensitive, Mma Makutsi. You would not always think it to look at them, but they are. They do not like you to point out that they are wrong, even when they are. That is the way things are, Mma--it just is. ↗

— Alexander McCall Smith

#men #mma-ramotswe #humor

Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn’t read his stuff. Collin McCann is like the Carrie Bradshaw of Chicago men.” “You mean Terry Bradshaw,” Jack corrected. “No, Carrie,” Wilkins repeated. “You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City.” A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men. ↗

— Julie James

#fbi #funny #humor #julie-james #men

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle. ↗

— Daniel Keys Moran

#humor

Sometimes you think you've found love, when it's really just one of those objects that are shiny in a certain light--a trophy, say, or a ring, or a diamond, even. Glass shards, maybe. You've got to be careful, you do. The shine can blind you. The edges can cut you in way you never imagined. It is up to you to allow that or not. ↗

— Deb Caletti

#cut #diamond #found #glass #love