#andrew

I'll call you," he repeated. "If you call me, I won't pick up the phone." "You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak to me in a civil manner. If you don't know how, ask someone. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ilona-andrews #kate #magic-bleeds #civilization

Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate #magic-bleeds #ilona-andrews

Doode," George said. He'd practiced all morning but still didn't get it quite right. "Nope, more u, less oo. Duuude." "Dude." "Dude." "Okay, dude." George nodded. "How's it hanging?" Jack asked. "How am I supposed to answer that?" George looked at him. "I don't think Kaldar said anything about that. I guess 'good'? I don't get it. What's hanging anyway?" George shook his head. "Your stuff, you nimwit." His stuff...Oh. Ha! "In that case, it's hanging long!" Jack dissolved in giggles. "Long, get it? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #george #hanging #ilona-andrews

At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?" "No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God! ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #ilona-andrews #kaldar #the-edge

He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #funny #hair #ilona-andrews #the-edge

May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate #ilona-andrews

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#grendel #kate #ilona-andrews

The phone rang. I picked it up. "Kate Daniels" "It's me," Curran said. "I—" I hung up. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ilona-andrews

I turned and bumped by head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ilona-andrews

What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate #ilona-andrews