#ant

I think Charles Manson was a hair's breath away from just being a terrorist. He wanted to start a war, too. ↗

— Patty Hearst

#being #breath #charles #hair #i

I believe I went through a divorce. My relationship with Ellen is no less significant as a marriage than my relationship to Coley. ↗

— Anne Heche

#divorce #ellen #i #i believe #less

If you don't want to be there, it shows in the energy that you put out and in your actions. ↗

— Graham Nash

#energy #out #put #shows #want

You two are too cute,” the counter girl said, setting two cups piled with whipped cream on the counter. She had a sort of lopsided, open smile that made me think she laughed a lot. “Seriously. How long have you been going out?” Sam let go of my hands to get his wallet and took out some bills. “Six years.” I wrinkled my nose to cover a laugh. Of course he would count the time that we’d been two entirely different species. Whoa.” Counter girl nodded appreciatively. “That’s pretty amazing for a couple your age." Sam handed me my hot chocolate and didn’t answer. But his yellow eyes gazed at me possessively—I wondered if he realized that the way he looked at me was far more intimate than copping a feel could ever be. I crouched to look at the almond bark on the bottom shelf in the counter. I wasn’t quite bold enough to look at either of them when I admitted, “Well, it was love at first sight.” The girl sighed. “That is just so romantic. Do me a favor, and don’t you two ever change. The world needs more love at first sight. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#love #romantic #sight #age

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#because #did #died #fake #i

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#candy #front #fun #get #glass

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#down #happening #hero #hold #holds

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#great #hungry #really #rice #something

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#eat #fish #fishing #go #just

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#buy #cake #candle #got #holder