#put

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#back #coffee #i #instant #microwave

You can't believe everything people tell you - not even if those people are your own brain. ↗

— Jefferson Smith

#belief #credibility #fantasy #gullibility #humor

Ask not, what you must do for your computer. Fear instead, what your computer can do to you. ↗

— with apologies to John F. Kennedy

#disaster #humor #humor

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor #sex #technology #technophobes #wit

There ain't a man in the world cares about a woman's past until he's thinking of her in his future. ↗

— Dru Pagliassotti

#future #humor #past #reputation #romance

As an orangutan cannot embrace higher mathematics or comprehend the architecture and operation of a computer, we humans __ so good at loudly proclaiming our intelligence and applauding our own doltish displays of cerebral gymnastics __ cannot begin to understand the true structure and functioning of the Universe. ↗

— John Rachel

#cerebral #computers #gymnastics #intelligence #orangutan

Technology offers us a unique opportunity, though rarely welcome, to practice patience. ↗

— Allan Lokos

#cell-phones #compassion #computers #internet #art

Billboard called my solo album, 'Standing In The Spotlight,' a great party album and even said that my raps put the Beastie Boys to shame. ↗

— Dee Dee Ramone

#billboard #called #even #great #party

Young Programmer (innocently): Why are we signing up for this death march project, boss? Boss (thundering righteously): Because, it will increase our corporate earnings per share by a full 3.14159 cents!! ↗

— Ed Yourdan Death March

#death

If behind popular fascination with Freudian theory there was a nervous, often guilty preoccupation with the self as sexual, behind increasing interest in computational interpretations of mind is an equally nervous preoccupation with the self as machine. ↗

— Sherry Turkle

#equality