#artemis

how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#descant #fowl #mervall #paradox #time

HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book? FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#foaly #holly-short #paradox

Holly is alive,' thought Foaly 'My princess lives,'exulted Orion. 'And we're chasing a dragon ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#atlantis-complex #foaly-the-centaur #orion #dragons

Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?” “Cheese made by dwarfs.” “Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .” “No. What a horrible thought.” “Exactly. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#dwarfs #funny #orion #funny

The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#eoin-colfer #evolution #science #science

Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares! ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#foaly #humor #humour #humor

Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#colfer #colony #demons #eoin #fowl

Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#butler #eoin-colfer #humor #humor

Waitress: "And to drink?" Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor

...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile." "...Where's all the loot?" "That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart." Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. "You were here to rob me!" "No, I wasn't. How dare you?! ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #mulch #theif #humor