#ash

One has to be proactive in warding off ugly, and that costs money. ↗

— Kristin Billerbeck

#humor

You can’t has,' he whispered softly, 'not yours. ↗

— Wil Wheaton

#fantasy #geekery #humor #humor

Jenna slipped in wearing an outfit that I can only describe as Hello Kitty Goes Goth. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #humor

Wait until you see my socratic method, baby. ↗

— Cherrie Lynn

#humor #unleashed #humor

Gorgeous,” he murmured. She chuckled. “Think you’l say that in five months or so? When I waddle like a duck and you have to tie my shoes for me?” “I’l say it then and forever. ↗

— Cherrie Lynn

#humor #unleashed #humor

In all, his outfit required nearly two thousand man-years of research and development, eight barrels of oil, and sixteen patent and trademark infringement lawsuits. All so he could possess casual style. A style that, in logistical requirements, was comparable to fielding a nineteenth-century military brigade. But he looked good. Casual. ↗

— Daniel Suarez

#humor #humor

He punched me in the face," Ash said, who understandably did not seem to find the situation humorous at all. "And then he yelled at me for sleeping with our personal trainer!" "I was told breakup scenes were a good way to distract people," Jared said with beautiful simplicity. "Ash looked so surprised," Holly said. "He had no idea what was going on. He said, 'I didn't sleep with our personal trainer! We don't even have a personal trainer!'" Angela and Holly giggled. Ash held the back of his hand to his bleeding mouth and glared. Jared was still grinning like a maniac. "In that case," he told Ash solemnly, "I will consider taking you back. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#ash #break-ups #cousins #distractions #holly

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #inspirational #truth #humor

And-he was ashamed to admit--he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#paranormal-romance #sharon-ashwood #the-dark-forgotten #unchained #humor

Go to her," Grimalkin said, backing away. "Wake her up. I will attempt to rouse Goodfellow once more. Perhaps he will waken if claws are applied in a strategically important area... ↗

— Paul Adams

#grimalkin #humor #humor