Now, being a girl, I was ashamed of my body and my lack of strength. So I tried to be a man. I shot, rode, jumped, and took part in all the fights of the boys. ↗
I've actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn't need to be that hungry. There was something going on inside me when I was angry and feeling very threatened and not feeling good about myself. ↗
I was convinced I was worth less than my straight peers. I was at best inauthentic, and the longer I went without amending that dishonesty, the more ashamed I felt. ↗
We knew what we were up against, but we were going to go down fighting. Hopefully people back home remember that we got this far. We've got nothing to be ashamed about. ↗
What this does for me emotionally, psychologically and spiritually - to look in the mirror and not be ashamed - has been very important in not relapsing. ↗