#other

His brother fell silent again, another oddity for Chad. Several seconds passed. “Bro, all of us are a little fucked up.” “No shit. ↗

— J. Lynn

#humor #humor

Man, it was a good thing vampires didn't get cancer. Lately he'd been chain-smoking like a felon. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#cancer #humor #life #smoking #humor

That scent she threw off was not anything by Chanel. Unless they’d recently added a Tragedy line. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #humor

I'm your mother. I see all. Hear all. Know all. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#humor

Aren't fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself? ...No, you're confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#humor #self-esteem #humor

Well you can't believe everything you read. After all, by definition, fiction writers lie for a living. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#my-unfair-godmother #humor

And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#dylan #funk-soul-brother #humor #humour #moran

I'm going to stay here and see if he comes back," Wrath said as the double doors opened and V strode in. "I want the rest of you out searching for him in the city, but before you go, first let's get an update from our very own Katie Couric." He nodded at Vishous. "Katie?" V's glare was the ocular version of a fully extended middle finger ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #wrath #humor

So, what are you doing with my little sister today?” Daniel asked. I closed my eyes in defeat. “I’m afraid I can’t ruin the surprise,” Noah said. “But I promise I’ll return her intact.” He did not just say that. Daniel cackled ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#embarrassment #humor #humor

I'm a mother," said her mother, in her foodless flat where the dust did not dare to settle, "and I know what I know. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#mothers #humor