#at

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit. ↗

— Richard Pryor

#humor #religion #vampires #humor

Bones didn’t share any of my qualms about suddenly holding an arm that wasn’t attached to a body anymore. He just grabbed the ghoul by his other arm and began thumping him over the head with the loose limb. I’d heard Bones threaten to beat someone with their own limb before, but I’d always assumed that was a figure of speech. Apparently not. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humorous #humor

I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again. So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance. I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me. I didn’t dignify that with a response. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#aftermath #freaking-out #hickey #humor #kisses

When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich? ↗

— Helen Fielding

#bridget-jones #humor #humor-relationships #humor

Hmm…” Jason snapped his fingers. “I can call a friend for a ride.” Percy raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#flying-horses #heroes-of-olympus #humor #jason-grace #percy-jackson

Why?" She asked in a confused whisper. "Out of all the women in the world, why did you choose this mortal?" "Because fate drove me to you. ↗

— Charlotte Featherstone

#fate #love #relationships #love

Listen.. to your motor-mouth mother..... Lovely Minato said ↗

— Masashi Kishimoto

#manga #minato #naruto #love

If a man isn't being nice when you're out, all you have to do is remain polite and then go home early. ↗

— Sherry Argov

#love

You cannot mistake this You cannot reinvent this moment You cannot call this love It is so much more ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#jamie-weise #love #passion #passionate-living #romance

I decided then that if the two people I loved most were safe, I could leave this world. The dead could finally have me. And Iʹd fulfilled my purpose, right? To protect? Iʹd done it. Iʹd saved Lissa, just like Iʹd sworn Iʹd always do. I was dying in battle. No appointment books for me. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#rose-hathaway #love