#ate

An evil spark flared in his eyes. "Trade: raccoon for some answers. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #ilona-andrews #kaldar #raccoon #the-edge

I want to leave a legacy. I'll leave him in the trunk, tied up, at a parking garage on the campus of the university where he graduated. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#graduated #humor #legacy #university #funny

When I’m lonely I stand in the corner and play my saxophone and feel sorry for myself. I would ask you to accompany me on the piano, but if I did that I wouldn’t be lonely, would I? And what’s the point of a saxophone if not to celebrate despair?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrate #celebration #despair #funny #humor

This doesn't mean you're getting a discount." Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then." Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!" Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#fate-s-edge #funny #gnome #ilona-andrews #the-edge

Abel was brushing the snow off his parka while Micha was dancing around him, still balancing the plate of cookies, singing, 'We're staying, we're staying, we're staying overnight! We're drying! We're drying! We're drying on the line! ↗

— Antonia Michaelis

#antonia-michaelis #funny #micha-and-abel #micha-tannatek #sweet

Anna took his hand to gauge the swelling. 'Let's at least put something cold around it. Frozen peas work pretty well.' 'Do I have to eat them?' 'No, you just have to inject them into a vein,' Anna said. ↗

— Antonia Michaelis

#abel-tannatek #antonia-michaelis #frozen-peas #funny #the-storyteller

I want to be the mayor of a small town. A small town I populated entirely with my seed. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #mayor #populated #town #funny

However, in modern conceptual frameworks there is a more sophisticated view. I would say that the act of music exists in several worlds simultaneously. ↗

— Robert Fripp

#conceptual #exists #however #i #modern

Again I entered my smithy to work and forge something from the noble material of time past. ↗

— Jean Froissart

#entered #forge #i #material #noble

Water is not as life-giving as alcohol, or as widespread. But it is more ethical to use as an industrial solvent. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #solvents #water #funny