#aw

I mean, we're ninjas." "Well maybe you're a ninja," I said "You're just a really loud, awkward ninja," Margo said, "but we are both ninjas. ↗

— John Green

#funny #ninjas #funny

There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#books #boyfriend #choices #faith #family

And you'd think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn't. It just- it just makes them dead. ↗

— Joe Walker (as Voldemort in AVPM)

#joe-walker #supermegafoxyawesomehot #totally-awesome #voldemort #wise-words

Don't go there Rule" Lawe warned him softly. " I don't think your horoscope declared today to be a good day to die. ↗

— Lora Leigh

#funny #lawe-s-justice #threat #funny

Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#awkward #funny #maureen-johnson #shades-of-london #funny

At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time." "Made myself a batch with it," Shane said. "It's got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don't bitch if you get flamed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#chilli #funny #morganville-vampires #funny

Its a good thing I'm here, big guy, because you have shit taste in friends." Okay, I said the last part intentionally, knowing how Aaron would react. And right on cue, Aaron said: "He's not my friend!" "Well, I guess that settles it, Nick. You're not going to be rebound guy because, despite your predictions of woe, Aaron and I aren't breaking up. I'd say that we'll see you around, but I doubt that'll happen since you don't even rate friend status. ↗

— Cardeno C.

#funny-as-hell #m-m-romance #funny

For most vampires, it's an automatic response - scent blood, fangs drop. ↗

— J.A. London

#funny #vampires #funny

I'm a librarian in town,' she began. 'You sure about that?' The words popped out before he could stop them. Annabelle raised her eyebrows. 'Fairly. It's my job and so far no one has told me to go away when I show up for work.' smooth, Stryker, he thought, very smooth. 'I was expecting someone wearing glasses. You know. Because librarians read a lot.' The raised eyebrows turned into a frown. 'You need to get out of the barn more. ↗

— Susan Mallery

#awkward-encounters #foot-in-mouth #funny #librarians #shane

Stand out from the crowd, be yourself. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#cosmic-ordering #law-of-attraction #mind-body-spirit #mind-power #money