#banter

Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?" I don't hate you." Could've fooled me." She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look...we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals." Why?" She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her." They must really like olives." Oh, forget it." Now, if she'd invented pizza-that I could understand. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#athena #banter #percy-jackson #poseidon #parenting

Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?" I asked. "It only works on wild animals." "So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned. "Hey!" I protested. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#banter #grover-underwood #percy-jackson #work

Sir,"she said,"you are no gentleman!" An apt observation,"he answered airily."And, you, Miss, are no lady. ↗

— Margaret Mitchell

#observation

Travis: I didn’t know they made permanent makeup. I looked like a clown for a month. Connor: Yeah. They put a curse on me so that no matter what I wore, my clothes were two sizes too small and I felt like a geek. Travis: You are a geek. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #twins #funny

I'm not sure you're quite sensible of the honor I'm doing you," Jace said. "you'll be the first mundane who has ever been inside the Institute." "Probably the smell keeps the rest of them away." - Simon, 133 ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #quip #retort #simon-lewis #honor

We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?" "What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?" "What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-wayland #simon-lewis #humor

Simon laughed heartily. “I’m afraid the rest of us have to find talents to get our women into bed. Of course once they’re there, I have other talents that keep them right where they are.” “Handcuffs hardly count,” Christian said offhandedly. “If you mean the ladies cuffing me to the bed so they can explore Hunt Island,” he said, rubbing his chest, “…then point taken. These hands are capable of making any female climax by the mere brush of a pinky across her bare breast.” “I must have gone to the wrong island,” I said with a private laugh. ↗

— Dannika Dark

#breast #climax #handcuffs #humor #paranormal