#beard

You can't do comedy with a beard. ↗

— Alexei Sayle

#comedy #you

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. ↗

— W. C. Fields

#family #men #most #were #women

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#beards #children #dada #funny #funny-quotes

When nothing worked, he decided the least he could do was pick the yam bits out of his beard. But even the proved fruitless since the bits seemed to find their way into the deepest recesses of the beard, and the just small enough boy quickly grew squeamish. Judge if you must, but if you've ever had to pick yam bits out of an old man's bushy beard, I'm sure you'd forgive him. ↗

— Jason Carter Eaton

#facttracker #forgive #judge #squeamish #yam

In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a beard on my chest.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#chest #freedom #mustache #redistribution #wealth

It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your beard’s stupid.” “Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well. ↗

— Derek Landy

#crux #funny #stupid #funny

His beard was all colors, a grove of trees in autumn, deep brown and fire-orange and wine-red, an untrimmed tangle across the lower half of his face. His cheeks were apple-red. He looked like a friend; like someone you had known all your life. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#beards #colors #familiarity #life

I want to grow a Loyalty Beard, to prove my commitment to my favorite shaving cream. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#commitment #humor #loyalty #change

Poor Aubrey: I hope he will get all right. He brought a strangely new personality to English art, and was a master in his way of fantastic grace, and the charm of the unreal. His muse had moods of terrible laughter. Behind his grotesques there seemed to lurk some curious philosophy… ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#oscar-wilde #art

I never thought that the long haired, bearded guy I married in law school would end up being President. ↗

— Hillary Clinton

#being #end #guy #i #law