#beer

Nature's what it's all about, but our people have been brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks. ↗

— Tim Dorsey

#cell-phones #chicks #commercials #hot-chicks #life

Your insult has offended me. If we were at the Peaks, we would have to duel in traditional alil'tiki'i fashion." "Which is what?" Teft asked. "With spears?" Rock laughed. "No, no. We upon the Peaks are not barbarians like you down here." "How then?" Kaladin asked, genuinely curious. "Well," Rock said, "is involving much mudbeer and singing." “How's that a duel?” "He who can still sing after the most drinks is winner. Plus, soon' everyone is so drunk that they forget what argument was about." Teft laughed. "Beats knives at dawn, I suppose. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#drinking #funny-quotes #funny

There are more old drunks than there are old doctors. ↗

— Willie Nelson

#humor #humor

Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it's all--hahhhh. ↗

— Thomas Pynchon

#humor #humor

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. ↗

— David Daye

#humor #humor

I like my coffee black, my beer from Germany, wine from Burgundy, the darker, the better. I like my heroes complicated and brooding, James Dean in oiled leather, leaning on a motorcycle. You know the color. ("Ode to Chocolate") ↗

— Barbara Crooker

#coffee #heroes #wine #coffee

Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#burping #cheap-beer #cool-girls #dirty-jokes #gang-bang

The most frustrating thing for musicians who want to play stuff from the new album is when everyone goes out to buy a beer. ↗

— Joe Elliott

#beer #buy #everyone #frustrating #frustrating thing

I'm a meat girl and I just love having a beer. ↗

— Jill Goodacre

#girl #having #i #just #love

Life isn't all beer and skittles, but beer and skittles, or something better of the same sort, must form a good part of every Englishman's education. ↗

— Thomas Hughes

#better #education #englishman #every #form