#bi

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ↗

— Larry Lorenzoni

#statistics-humor #humor

YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side,' said the dewdrop to the lake. ↗

— Rabindranath Tagore

#humour #inspirational #philosophy #stray-birds #humor

I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show. ↗

— George Carlin

#childhood #hip #humor #strippers #humor

Hang on," Sadie said. She stomped right up to the throne. Ammit growled at her, but Sadie growled back, which confused the monster into silence. "What are you?" she demanded. "My dad? Osiris? Are you even alive?" Dad looked at Anubis. "What did I tell you about her? Fiercer than Ammit, I said." "You didn't need to tell me." Anubis's face was grave."I've learned to fear that sharp tongue." Sadie looked outraged. "excuse me? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #osiris #sadie #humor

Well, so you don't get too cocky, I myself often complete the TV Guide crossword puzzle." He puffed out his chest. "In pen. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#lol #putting-on-his-big-boy-pants #humor

Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right? ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#zombies #humor

Looks like Faye's doing a little extracurricular activity," a voice behind her murmured, and Cassie turned gratefully. Nick nodded at the guy who was occupying the seat there, and the guy scrambled up and left. Cassie hardly noticed the occurrence, it was so common. The kids from Crowhaven Road indicated what they wanted, and the outsiders gave it to them. Always. It was the way things worked. Nick sat in the vacated chair and took out a pack of cigarettes. He opened it, shook one forward. Then he noticed Cassie. Cassie was staring at him with her eyebrows lifted, her best Diana expression on. Disapproval radiating from her like heat waves. "Ah," Nick said. He glanced at the cigarettes, then at her again. He tapped the protruding cigarette back into place and tucked the pack in his pocket. "Bad habit," he said. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#habits #humor #humor

Brains, BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS. BRaiNS, brains, Brains, BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS. BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS, brains. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#haiku #horror #humor #zombies #humor

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you. ↗

— Criss Jami

#anatomy #biological #biology #brain #cognition

I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing... ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #plumbing #humor