#bizarre

A brick could be used to aid the lonely. Carry it with you, converse with it, and if you drink enough, you can even make love to it.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as gift for the man who has everything. Here’s a tip: that man doesn’t have everything, because I just stole his wallet. But I can’t very well give him a gift of something I’ve just grifted. So while he’s pondering the meaning of the brick as a present, I’m off spending his money. It’s win-win for both of us. And by both of us I mean me and you, not me and him, because naturally you’ll be my accomplice, my partner, and as such you’re entitled to half. Of half. But since I’m paying you 25%, you’re paying for dinner. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

We live in a bizarre world - there are cameras in our house! ↗

— Nick Lachey

#cameras #house #live #our #world

What happens often - although I'm not particularly a victim of this sort of thing - is that somebody will make a quote, or invent a remark and it gets printed, ends up on the 'net and it becomes currency. And some of them are so bizarre! ↗

— Robert Palmer

#becomes #bizarre #currency #ends #gets

I feel a real responsibility to my community and so right now there has been this bizarre myth in our community how our vote doesn't count. I'm trying to get out there and re-educate on how the government works and break that myth and talk about the importance of being involved. ↗

— Jada Pinkett Smith

#been #being #bizarre #break #community

Honestly, ever since I've been married, the part of a job as an actress where you have to kiss other people, I find totally bizarre. ↗

— Leelee Sobieski

#been #bizarre #ever #find #honestly

In the early 1980s, Graham worked hard to turn the Repository into a respectable business, rather than a ludicrous one: Graham's wife didn't like keeping the sperm at the Escondido estate. Not only had the house been picketed, but a Japanese trespasser had once made a run at the sperm, only to be nipped by a family dog. ↗

— David Plotz

#bizarre #dog #sperm #business

I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always covered with a condom (to keep the flies away). 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be attached to a parachute and tossed out of an airplane, to test if it opens up properly. Well, the good news is the parachute worked as planned, but the bad news is the only other parachute on board is strapped to my back, and I’m afraid you’re going to have to return to your seat, buckle up, and assume the crash position. And while it may not be as useful as a functioning parachute, here’s a Rosary to aid you in your prayers. Also, before I jump out of the plane, I just remembered that I owe you a lot of money. Can I write you a check?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange