#bloke

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#around #assistant #blind #bloke #calls

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out. ↗

— Johnny Vegas

#big #bloke #enough #out #pointing

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'" ↗

— Tim Vine

#car #getting #give #give me #go

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#car #getting #give #give me #go

You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is. ↗

— Johnny Vegas

#became #bloke #dad #decent #half

The first thing is to be patient, which is probably the hardest thing to do. Don't worry if blokes are whacking you out of the park because you still have the opportunity to get him out next ball, even if it's not the same ball. ↗

— Shane Warne

#be patient #because #blokes #even #first

Maybe if I'd not been able to kick a ball it would have been different, but I doubt it because all my mates are decent blokes now, just normal fellas with families. ↗

— Robbie Fowler

#ball #because #been #blokes #decent

I don't find offensive that I'm being labelled a babe by blokes. I'm absolutely flattered. ↗

— Kirsty Gallacher

#babe #being #blokes #find #flattered

Basically, a manager is a father figure to 20 or 25 blokes. It's about trying to get the best out of them and creating team spirit. ↗

— Alan Shearer

#basically #best #blokes #creating #father

I love how the men stand around cooking the barbie while the women have done all the work beforehand doing the marinade and making the salads and then everybody says, 'what a great barbie' to the guy cooking. A barbecue is just the ultimate blokes' pastime, isn't it? ↗

— Curtis Stone

#barbecue #barbie #beforehand #blokes #cooking