#bro

Empirically, the home had been designed to suit its purpose, and it did so quite well. It was a place where dreams died and fantasies came true. ↗

— Joseph DiFrancesco

#design

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bald #baldness #bond #bonding #eyebrows

When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. ↗

— Cory Doctorow

#little-brother #humor

Mastering the art of seduction gives one a great power, and like any power, it's to be wielded with responsibility; a man who wields the art of seduction without a sense of responsibility and restraint is a walking proximity bomb of viral epidemics, needless procreation, heartbroken families, and shattered dreams. ↗

— Mike Norton

#bomb #heartbreak #heartbroken #mastery #power

Yes!" Narissus unslung his bow and grabbed an arrow from his dusty quiver. "The first one who get that bronze, I will like you almost as much as I like me. I might even kiss you, right after I kiss my reflection!" "Oh my gods!" the nymphs squealed. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bronze #echo #hazel-levesque #humor #leo-valdez

You're some freaky shit, my brother. You really are ↗

— J.R. Ward

#brothers #humor #love #rhage #humor

I remembered my little brother, Allyn, had appeared so innocent and angelic when he slept--similar to Kerrick. It must be a survival tactic. If Allyn hadn't looked so sweet, we would have killed him while he slept. He had been pure evil when he was awake--similar to Kerrick. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#appearances #brothers #humor #innocence #sleep

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head... ↗

— Bill Cosby

#humor #thinking #toilet #humor

No hard feelings about that time in the Crucible when you mixed my salts and I was nearly blind for a day. No. No, really, drink up! ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#fantasy #humor #revenge #simmon #humor

… she gave me a look that deftly combined tenderness with revulsion. To this day the memory of that look still visits me like a Jehovah’s Witness: uninvited and tireless. ↗

— Steve Toltz

#humor #relationships #humor