#bs

Hannah expected this to make her sob even more, but instead she found her tears drying up and her tummy growing warm. How dare they? How dare they do this to little girls? She understood now why her parents go so angry when they saw the result of bombers in the white hot streets of the Middle East, why men and women wailed in anger as well as grief as they lifted the limp bodies of children from the rubble. How dare they? No, she wasn't going to die like this, wrapped up like some helpless baby. ↗

— Stephen M. Irwin

#bombs #captive #captured #child #courage

Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday ↗

— Woody Allen

#dating

I’m only saying what you won’t. He’s a hunk, admit it. A tall, dark, exotic hunk who wants to bed you, and you must be a fucking nun, because it’s been three weeks since you met him and you’re going to have to remove the cobwebs from your vagina with forceps soon, they’re growing into intelligent life form— ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#cobwebs #dating #humor #humour #relationships

Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are ↗

— Josh Stern

#date #figs #humor #moronic #rape

Before I die, I want to change my name to "Here," so that my tombstone could simply read, "Here lies." And then people who knew me could walk by, shake their head, and say, "Ain't that the truth. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#die #funny #tombstone #truth #change

Thus I draw from the absurd three consequences, which are my revolt, my freedom, and my passion. By the mere activity of consciousness I transform into a rule of life what was an invitation to death—and I refuse suicide. ↗

— Albert Camus

#suicide #death

I began to understand that the most worthwhile obsession is an obsession that is actually independent of the object of fixation. The object is only borrowed as a pretext, a means, an environment, through which or in which the obsessed person can project his own eternal and essential hunger, thus fulfilling the requirements of death--the dissolution of the ego for something, anything, that exists independently outside of one's self. Perhaps that obsession should be controlled. At some point the most mundane catalyst, a skirt or fallen leaf, is enough to provoke a series of captivating chain reactions, while at another time much more important objects will inspire only an absurd indifference. ↗

— Phạm Thị Hoài

#death

A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drown #drowning #economy #funny #humor

Death is life's way of telling you, you've been recalled ↗

— Josh Stern

#death #life #recalled #telling #death

Things stayed peaceful in there, even as the crashing vehicles and the cries of the injured and dying reached a crescendo outside. "I fry mine in butter!" indeed. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#death #humor #life-and-death #vonnegut #death