#car

Fuck you," Alex growls. He shoves back his chair and walks away. "That's the old Alex I used to know! I understand that language loud and clear," I call after him. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor

He bowed jokingly, and everyone laughed as Mrs.Anderson shook her head. "Did you even read the material?" "of course I did." "Who was the leader of the North?" "Lincoln." "No, he was the president." "Yes, which means he was the fucking leader of everyone." -- Carmine ↗

— J.M. Darhower

#darhower #humor #sempre #humor

Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons. ↗

— Ryan North

#humor #science #humor

[Yankees] are pretty much like southerners except with worse manners, of course, and terrible accents. ↗

— Margaret Mitchell

#rhett-butler-to-scarlett #southerners #yankees #humor

Tumbling into a dark, Lewis Carroll labyrinth of filth, pursuing a white rabbit of smut! ↗

— Russell Brand

#lewis-carroll #smutty #humor

I don’t care what other people think about me. Most people are idiots, and they can think whatever they want. ↗

— Ida Løkås

#humor #idiots #people #think #humor

He is taming chipmunks.” – Cara ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#humor #humor

Carbohydrates from the Latin, carbo which means "yummy" and hydrates which means "cinnamon bun," are not something I can eliminate or even drastically cut back on. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#humor #yummy #humor

Cartooning will destroy you; it will break your heart. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#depression #humor #humor

Though Will was saying earlier,” Tessa added, “that heroes all come to bad ends, and he could not imagine why anyone would want to be one, anyway.” “Ah.” Jem’s hand squeezed hers briefly, and then let it go. “Well, Will is looking at it from the hero’s viewpoint, isn’t he? But as for the rest of us, it’s an easy answer.” “Is it?” “Of course.” His voice was almost a whisper now. “Heroes endure because we need them. Not for their own sakes. If Will … ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #imagination