#cas

I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?" "You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't." "There goes my Saturday. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-lost-souls #funny #humor #lambada #magnus-bane

The next time you're planning to injure yourself to get my attention, just remeber that a little sweet talk works wonders." - City of Bones (said by Jace Wayland) ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #entertainment #funny #humor #jace-wayland

If you're texting Magnus to say 'I think u r kewl' I'm going to kill you ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #funny #isabelle #funny

That's your truck parked up by the factory isn't it?" Magnus pointed. "It's awfully butch for a bookseller. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #funny #magnus-bane #funny

I was a militant smoker, and in my case, I think I particularly used smoking because what I felt was a kind of politically correct big brother assault on smoking. ↗

— Joe Eszterhas

#because #big #big brother #brother #case

Wait a second," Clary said. "I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #clary-fray #funny #luke-garroway #the-mortal-instruments

Think you can maybe not die for five minutes?" "I'll try,"I told him seriously. "You know, if anyone else said that, it would be funny. ↗

— Karen Chance

#marco #funny

The woman rolled her eyes. “DarkRiver males are damn possessive and complete exhibitionists during the mating dance.” Sascha ran through her dictionary of changeling terminology and could find no fit. “Mating dance?” Mercy whistled. Dorian winced. Tamsyn suddenly got interested in her dough. Clay and Vaughn mysteriously disappeared. Behind her, Lucas’s body was a hard wall of heat. “I think we need to discuss this upstairs. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#lucas #nalini-singh #sascha #funny

He flipped himself onto his side and kissed me. "You're so hot," I said, my hand still on his leg. "I'm starting to think you have an amputee fetish," he answered, still kissing me. I laughed. "I have an Augustus Waters fetish," I explained. ↗

— John Green

#funny #hazel-grace-lancaster #funny

Pritkin muttered something that sounded fairly vicious. “My clothes are warded! Even if I wished to accede to your demand, it would not work on them.” “Then strip.” “I beg your pardon?” He sounded almost polite suddenly, as if he believed he couldn’t possibly have heard right. ↗

— Karen Chance

#funny #pritkin #funny