#ch

and, unlike the celebrated herd in the poem, they were not forty children conducting themselves as one, but every child was conducting itself like forty. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#humor #humor

Your pants didn't get smaller, Mommy," I assured her. "Your butt got bigger. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#humor #silly #humor

There is a tiger in my room,' said Frances. 'Did he bite you?' said Father. 'No,' said Frances. 'Did he scratch you?' said Mother. 'No,' said Frances. 'Then he is a friendly tiger,' said Father. 'He will not hurt you. Go back to sleep. ↗

— Russell Hoban

#children-s-literature #humor #stalling #tigers #humor

Why are there so many people out here?' Boomer asked as we bobbed and weaved roughly forward. 'Christmas shopping.' I explained. 'Already? Isn't it early to returning things?' I really had no sense of how his mind worked. ↗

— David Levithan

#christmas-shopping #dash #humor #lol #no-sense

Optimism: That effervescent, blindingly- bright, perky, chipper, twittering quality you want to squash out of annoying people. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#cheerfulness #humor #merriment #optimism #pleasantness

As cities grow and technology takes over the world belief and imagination fade away and so do we. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#imagination #magic #science #technology #imagination

The scientific method is nothing more than a system of rules to keep us from lying to each other. ↗

— Ken Norris

#fluke #humor #science #humor

I'm never going to believe a Poirot mystery again. Never. All those witnesses going, "Yes, I remember it was 3:06 p.m. exactly, because I glanced at the clock as I reached for the sugar tongs, and Lady Favisham was quite clearly sitting on the right-hand side of the fireplace." Bollocks. They have no idea where Lady Favisham was, they just don't want to admit it in front of Poirot. I'm amazed he gets anywhere. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #poirot #humor

If you'd just learn to do as I say from the beginning, I wouldn't have to follow up your errors with reproving smirks and repeated 'I told you so's. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#listening #richelle #richelle-goodrich #humor

There have been better attempts at marching, and they have been made by penguins. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#marching #humor