#ch

While you judge me by my outward appearance I am silently doing the same to you, even though there's a ninety-percent chance that in both cases our assumptions are wrong. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#assumptions #biases #criticize #judge #judging

He wiped his face with his handkerchief, for he was quite warm from the exertion of being Chairman of the World. It had taken more running and leaping and sliding than he had imagined. ↗

— E.B. White

#imagination

People peep into boxes at moving stereoscopic prints, imagining they're in other worlds, and the crowd around a glassblower wonders whether icicles have formed in summer. Potted trees revive and suddenly look fresh when a florist sprinkles water on them, while papier-mâché turtles hanging out for sale move in the wind and take on souls. ↗

— Haruo Shirane

#hiraga-gennai #imagery #japanese #imagination

I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian." He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--" I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #librarians #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year. ↗

— Derek The Ghost

#funny #horror #humor #scary #school

What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#funny #jokes #meaning #trying #funny

Francesca took a navy blue sheath from a hanger and held it up. "This is darling, Gabriel. Don't you love it? You're right, I think we need to concentrate on much more feminine articles of clothing." He reached around her and fingered the soft material. "Where is the rest of it?" He was very serious, his dark eyes searching her face for signs she was teasing. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#christine-feehan #funny #funny

Ichigo: You got that? Huh?! I'm the rescuer, so you just SHUT UP!! Rukia: Wha--wha'd you say? A rescuer isn't supposed to ignore the rescuee! Ichigo: Yeah? And what kind of rescuee complains about the rescue!? Why don't you go sit in a corner and tremble in fear and cry out "Save me! Save me!" like you're supposed to?! Rukia: I do not need saving, and I do NOT tremble! ↗

— Tite Kubo

#bleach #humor #ichiruki #humor

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#philosophy #terry-pratchett #wintersmith #humor

Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry. ↗

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

#funny #sarcastic #toby #funny