#che

Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #rachel-morgan #romance #vampire #humor

Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand? ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #maxride #ratchet #star #humor

Fuck off. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#richelle-mead #vampire-academy #vampire-academy

Riza: Without his Alchemy he's just... Jean: A little brat who swears a lot Maes: An arrogant pipsqueak Roy: Useless. Just useless Alphonse: Sorry big brother, I don't know how to add to that... Ed *starts to cry*: YOU'RE ALL PICKING ON ME!!! ↗

— Hiromu Arakawa

#alchemist #fiction #fullmetal #humor #science

[F]rom my years of understanding ... I happily chose this kind of life in which I yet live [i.e., unmarried], which I assure you for my own part hath hitherto best contented myself and I trust hath been most acceptable to God. From the which if either ambition of high estate offered to me in marriage by the pleasure and appointment of my prince ... or if the eschewing of the danger of my enemies or the avoiding of the peril of death ... could have drawn or dissuaded me from this kind of life, I had not now remained in this estate wherein you see me. But so constant have I always continued in this determination ... yet is it most true that at this day I stand free from any other meaning that either I have had in times past or have at this present. ↗

— Elizabeth I Tudor

#choice #contentment #dignity #empowerment #freedom

Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel...used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor #humor

You know, I can see more than just the future or the past." "Really?" I asked, paging through through the papers in the file. "Can you also see the present? Because I can do that, too. Like, right now, I sense that I'm in a messy room with a total toolbox. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #rachel-hawkins #sophie #spell-bound #torin

Sydney spent a lot of time on my bed these days. unfortunately, it wasn't with me. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#bloodlines #humor #richelle-mead #sydney-sage #sydrian

One of the first things we learn from our teachers is discernment: the ability to tell truth from fiction, to know when we have lost our center and how to find it again. Discernment is also one of the last things we learn, when we feel our paths diverge and we must separate from our mentors in order to stay true to ourselves. ↗

— Anne Hill

#spiritual-growth #spirituality #teachers #spiritual-growth

I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable. I hate that I miss him. I hate that I am alone, and I always was. I hate that I made him into a superhero, he was not. I hate that he doesn't want to kiss me. I hate that every time I cry over one boy it's like crying over all of them again. ↗

— Bill Shapiro

#vulnerability #love