#church

Oh, man," Xavier groaned. "See what you've done--now I'm stressing." "You can't! You're the stable one!" Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn't worried in the slightest. "Just relax. Go and run a bath or have a shot of brandy." "Okay." "That second bit was a joke. We both know you can't hold your liquor. ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#humor #xavier-woods #humor

The problem with the church is the church ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#r-alan-woods #r-alan-woods

I want to do it too!” said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless. “Nope,” said Nudge, shaking her head. “You stand out like a fart in church. ↗

— James Patterson

#fart #funny #lol #powers #funny

Everybody gets to play. ↗

— John Wimber

#holy-spirit #minister #vineyard #holy-spirit

Church was doing what he often did when dropped - lying on his back with all four legs in the air, pretending to be dead in order to induce guilt in his owners. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#cat #church #city-of-lost-souls #humor #pretence

God, as a loving Father, will stretch our souls at times. The soul is like a violin string: it makes music only when it is stretched. . . . God will tutor us by trying us because He loves us, not because of indifference! ↗

— Neal A. Maxwell

#love

It is well to remember that the stomach governs the world," wrote Churchill when planning the feeding of his troops on the north-west Indian frontier at the tail-end of the nineteenth century. ↗

— Cita Stelzer

#food #world-war-ii #food

Never mix business with religion, or you might end up losing your testimony when the business agreement is no longer something you or Christ would put up with. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#business #church #deals #greed #testimony

Lobbing hand grenades on the bride of Christ takes zero talent or effort. I also think this really takes God off. My five-year-old child complains and whines when things aren't the way she wants them, but courageous men and women roll up their sleeves and get busy. I want to be an active participant in putting back together the broken pieces. ↗

— Mike Foster

#complaining #leadership #purification #business

All the nut eaters and food faddists I have ever known, died early after a long period of senile decay - Winston Churchill ↗

— Stuart Finlay

#winston-churchill #ww #business