#cia

Red tape is being mishandled as government wrapping paper. We should be putting it over politicians’ mouths instead. ↗

— Bauvard

#government #humor #politicians #red-tape #funny

Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, why don’t you go all out and write in Lucifer on the ballot?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #politicians #politics

If she could have anything in the world, he'd asked her, what would it be? She'd answered that one without hesitation: a best friend. She hastily added, a truly, seriously best friend; one that I couldn't wait to talk to first thing in the morning as soon as I woke up, and one that I still wanted to be talking to, right up to the last minute before I went to sleep. He'd smiled faintly. You mean a soul mate, he'd thought but not said. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#cian #druids #highlander #jessi #karen-marie-moning

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it." (Letter to Étienne Noël Damilaville, May 16, 1767) ↗

— Voltaire

#humor #prayers #religion #ridicule #satire

A very small percentage of the people in this world will actually experience and live today. So many people will be stuck on another day, another time that traumatized them and caused them to spiritually stutter so they miss out on this day. ↗

— Steve Maraboli

#inspirational #life #living-now #motivational #today

I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #picket-fence #social-commentary #humor

Anyone who has no need of anybody but himself is either a beast or a God." Aristotle ↗

— Bruce Wayne Sullivan

#animals #childhood-memories #dogs #good-book #life-struggles

Sensitive," I tried. Sam translated: "Squishy." "Creative." "Dangerously emo." "Thoughtful." "Feng shui." I laughed so hard I snorted. "How do you get feng shui out of 'thoughtful'?" "You know, because in feng shui, you arrange furniture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways." Sam shrugged. "To make you calm. Zenlike. Or something. I'm not one hundred percent sure how it all works, besides the thoughtful part. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#humor #word-association #humor

Sometimes I think I must have a Guardian Idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me...only he's an imbecile. ↗

— Spider Robinson

#science-fiction #social-commentary #humor

Peace is the fruit of love, a love that is also justice. But to grow in love requires work -- hard work. And it can bring pain because it implies loss -- loss of the certitudes, comforts, and hurts that shelter and define us. ↗

— Jean Vanier

#peace-making #peacemaking #social-justice #love