#ck

Are you an idiot, or an idiot?' Gargarin hissed. 'The first one. I really resent being called the second. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#dialogue #humor #idiots #humor

In World War One, they called it shell shock. Second time around, they called it battle fatigue. After 'Nam, it was post-traumatic stress disorder. ↗

— Jan Karon

#post-traumatic-stress-disorder #shell-shock #vietnam-war #war #world-war-one

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#horror #trivia #humor

I'm not a psychopath, I'm a fully functioning sociopath. Do your research. ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#sherlock-holmes #watson #humor

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #lack-of-feeling #love #lovelessness #marriage

You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#sookie-stackhouse #humor

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#funny-as-hell #funny-quotes #funny-stuff #humor #humor-work

Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name. “Does your mother call you Pigeon?” “No.” “Then to me you are Paul.” ... “Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read. “My mother never calls me Nathan.” “Is it Nate?” “She calls me Honeylips. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#names #nicknames #humor

The more fucked up you are, the more I like you. As long as you've managed to hold onto your identity through all the shit, then it won't matter how twisted you are. I will love you more for it. ↗

— Ashly Lorenzana

#experiences #fucked-up #humor #identity #love

She was not sorry. And if it was the wine telling her that, then she would tell the wine the same thing tomorrow. She was not sorry. ↗

— Mary Balogh

#mary-balogh #romance #slightly #wicked #humor