#ck

Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#because #began #crying #fans #finally

The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#canada #canadian #checked #continues #go

The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#army #asked #bidding #cheney #competitive

Yesterday, the Pentagon warned U.S. reporters that they should get out of Baghdad as soon as possible because the U.S. could attack at any time. Then the Pentagon added, 'Whatever you do, don't tell Geraldo.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#any #attack #baghdad #because #could

Man watches his history on the screen with apathy and an occasional passing flicker of horror or indignation. ↗

— Conor Cruise O'Brien

#flicker #his #history #horror #indignation

And there is such a thing as a decathlon high. It's like a rock rolling down hill, picking up momentum. You get better and better. ↗

— Dan O'Brien

#decathlon #down #get #high #hill

I got interested in decathlon because a coach that I had was a big fan of Bruce Jenner, and he just saw the ability in me - but when it came down to it, I knew my best chance at a college scholarship would be in track and field. ↗

— Dan O'Brien

#because #best #big #big fan #bruce

I think what my parents did was perfect. They were strict, concerned about my safety and held me back just a little. ↗

— Dan O'Brien

#back #concerned #did #held #i

In every question and every remark tossed back and forth between lovers who have not played out the last fugue, there is one question and it is this: 'Is there someone new?' ↗

— Edna O'Brien

#between #every #forth #fugue #last

I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings. ↗

— Kate O'Brien

#i #only #opera #sick #soap