#ck

He didn't care whose league Jordan was in. All that mattered was that she was his. ↗

— Julie James

#julie-james #nick-mccall #love

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found? ↗

— Brian Celio

#back #everything #found #get #hate

There are certain things in life that just suck. Pouring a big bowl of Lucky Charms before realizing the milk is expired, the word 'moist,' falling face-first into the salad bar in front of the entire lacrosse team . . . ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#life-sucks #humor

From time to time, you may see a girl wearing her black opaque tights as pants. They are, in fact, not. ↗

— Nina Garcia

#fashion #humor #pants #style #tights

So", says Jack at at last..."you broke up with Connor". Wow. So we're straight to the point. "So", I reply defiantly. "You decided to stay". "Yes, well...", "I thought I might take a closer look at some of the European subsidiaries." He looks up. "How about you?" "Same reason." I nod. "European subsidiaries". ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #humor

Toronto's already ass-deep in cockroaches and conservatives; what's one more lower life-form? ↗

— Tanya Huff

#humor #toronto #humor

Kelly looked at the cop, then sighed. “What a cluster. I take it you haven’t been killing young women and leaving their half-eaten bodies in the desert?” Adam was ticked. I could tell it even if he was looking like a reasonably calm businessman. Adam’s temper was the reason he wasn’t one of Bran’s werewolf poster boys. When angered, he often gave in to impulses he wouldn’t otherwise have given in to. “Sorry to disappoint you,” Adam told Kelly in silky tones. “But I prefer rabbits. Humans taste like pork.” And then he smiled. Kelly took an involuntary step backward. Tony gave Adam a sharp look. “Let’s not make things worse, if we can help it, gentlemen. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne #tastes-like-chicken #tony

Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed. ↗

— Stephen King

#lucky-quarter #humor

New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #charles-cornick #cry-wolf #defense

Americans like what is easy, and it's easy to like pregnant women - they're like ducklings or bunnies or dogs. Still, it baffles me that these self-righteous, self-enthralled waddlers get such special treatment. As if it's so hard to spread your legs and let a man ejaculate between them. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#humor