#co

This little piggy went to Hades This little piggy stayed home This little piggy ate raw and steaming human flesh This little piggy violated virgins And this little piggy clambered over a heap of dead bodies to get to the top ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#hades #humor #nursery-rhymes #piggy #pigs

Can you believe it? Fifty miles from McDonald's. I didn't think there was anywhere in the world that was fifty miles from McDonald's. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #mcdonald-s #humor

He just raised the dead with coke and cheeseburgers ↗

— Rick Riordan

#nico #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #humor

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#captain-short #eight #eoin-colfer #holly-short #humor

Reluctantly she lifted her eyes to his, and he went on: "I want you to understand this as though I were one of your own people." He drew in a deep breath. "Thank you. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for my life. ↗

— R.J. Anderson

#knife #paul-mccormick #friendship

I have no word of yours to assure me that our brief friendship held for you the same significance it held for me, but I must go on believing so. Every hope of the future is meaningless unless I have faith that you and I will share it together. ↗

— Elizabeth George Speare

#future #hope #letter #love #together

Hey!" I turned, crossing my arms and glaring. "I was talking to him!" Tybalt eyed me with amusement, which just made me glare harder. "No, you were inciting him to stab you with a toothpick. Again, the difference is small, but I think it matters. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor #san-francisco #humor

For people who like that kind of thing, this is the kind of thing they like. ↗

— Max Beerbohm

#misattributed-abraham-lincoln #humor

A king who’s innocent of the things of which he’s guilty? ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#humor #king #humor

To have God speak to the heart is a majestic experience, an experience that people may miss if they monopolize the conversation and never pause to hear God's responses. ↗

— Charles Stanley

#experience #god #hear #heart #majestic