#com

Vanilla has become too genericized. It’s become standard, which is good. Vanilla is a household name. But the same standardization that’s made it so popular has taken the novelty out of it. Being the vanguard of ice cream has vanquished its radical sensation. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#commonplace #funny #ice-cream #vanilla #funny

Stroking a blob as it rolled along her face with one hand, and with the other gently grasping a lump on the back of her accident-prone head, I told my sweet sack of potatoes I knew just what she needed. A thermometer reading. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#consolation #funny #thermometer #funny

It's not a stereotype if it's always true. ↗

— Daniel Tosh

#daniel-tosh #funny #funny

What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows. ↗

— John Green

#comedy #funny #funny

Books are a poor substitute for female company, but they are easier to find. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#female-company #funny #romance #funny

Government is operated by deeply embedded, hopelessly entangled bureaus where nothing is accomplished because the function of the bureau is to intercept every living idea and smother it. ↗

— Gerry Spence

#because #bureau #bureaus #deeply #embedded

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward. ↗

— Marilyn vos Savant

#bathing #bathing suit #become #depressed #go

Alexander Payne's very specific. His scripts are always complete when you start working on them. ↗

— Kathy Bates

#always #complete #his #payne #scripts

You better check your playlist. Because you are on the wrong track. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #humor

No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time. ↗